Apr 28, 2009
Thank you guys
Thank you all so much for your support and advice it has really helped me to feel a bit better. Kim I am going to call you sometime next week to talk probablly Monday if thats ok, while Beau is in school. Eve thanks for your advice I am going to try to take some more time for myself and just give it time. It really helps to have an outside opinion. Chloe your right I am not used to having someone else around, though I am honestly not all that bothered he hasn't attached to me like he has Cale, even though no one believes me. I think one of my biggest thing right now is Cale feels the complete opposite as I do, he would adopt him tommarow if he could. Like I said he's a great kid no real problems or anything dream kid. I just wish I felt the same way. I just don't feel anything and I know it takes time and I am working on trying to build an attachement with him it could come to something or it might not. In the mean time I am just really worried what all this is doing to Cale, its so unfair to him and he has no one he can really talk to about it that really understands. This should be a happy time for him and I have ruined it for him. I am just so afraid of what Cale will think of me if it doesn't work out, that he will think less of me. He says its fine, that either way its ok but I don't believe him which just makes him mad. I know I am putting alot of pressure on myself that I don't need to be and I am trying not to but its hard when I know despite what he says Cale REALLY wants this kid and its been tearing me apart. But I am trying to adjust and believe him and just trust that everything will be ok. Who know's maybe I will completely fall in love with this kid by July I'm just afraid of what will happen if I don't. For now I am just trying to make sure everyone is happy and not worry about it too much.
On the plus side I've lost 15 lbs. :)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
You'll be fine - one way or another it will all work out. It sounds like you've got a good support system. ;)
When we got our very first little boys - a 7 year old and a 4 year old, we thought we had been dropped into an alternate reality. They had a lot of behavior problems and the first two months were all about their tantrums, school behaviors, counseling, and medical records. Those two took us the longest (even Mike) to adjust to and to really settle into a routine (of sorts)with. But we did eventually get the hang of it (and so did they)and we got to make lots of great memories with them.
Even if things don't work out long term with Beau, you can still know that you're making a positive difference in his life right now!
Thanks I plan to for as long as he is here. We are going to Spokane this weekend so that will be fun.
This comment is posted by Sean. A permanent placement doesn't mean that you have to adopt them the day they are legally free. Take your time and let the relationship develop without any pressures from the foster system or from any expectations you or anyone else might have. Right now he is a stranger that you have brought into your home and you have some things that you can offer him that he needs from you. Whether he is there for a few months or longer. How long he is with you doesn't need to be determined right now. No guilt, no resentment. This childs eternal salvation does not rest on your shoulders.
Thanks Sean. That helps alot. Tell Kim I said thanks too. You guys haved helped so much. I really appreciate it.
Sharon, My thoughts and prayers are with you. Rhett and I love you guys and hope that the best thing for your family happens as it should.
hi again,
This is Josh's take... He said, "you just can't base the rest of your lives on a situation that has been created since last Thursday." For example, Sharon can't quite determine that this isn't going to work and Cale can't determine that this is for sure an adoption. (I know that is coming out weird or harsh but not meant to by any means) And we know that you haven't determined that at all yet either but Josh said it because of the two extremes in feelings. He also wanted to share that if it doesn't work for both of you then it doesn't work at all and you need to take care of each other in the sense that don't feel guilty about wanting something different from your spouse. (Which I also know you know but wanted to share Josh's view). He wanted to point out that ALL mother's and father's go through a huge adjustment whether it is from a brand new baby of your own or a baby/child from adoption or fostering. I had post partum depression after having Hannah and it wasn't that I didn't want her because I did and I loved her more than anything but I was so unhappy and crying a lot. I think talking things through with someone will be more than helpful for you. We want you to know that we care and hope our suggestions and ideas come across in love and hope. Take care. :)
Post a Comment